crazy, mixed-up kid

In others, I admire a well-turned phrase, a piquant wit, and ghastly puns. I'm pretty good with words myself, though a master by no stretch.

But so far I haven't been able to find the words to write this post. And I need to.

My dad died on May 18, 2010. There. I typed it. It was peaceful and quick, and I was not there. I was here in WA teaching piano lessons at the time when the phone call came from my mom. "It's Graduation Day!" she said. We spoke for a few minutes about I know not what, certainly details of his passing and words of comfort were exchanged, but I shut down at that point.

And I went and finished teaching for the remainder of the afternoon.
And went out to dinner.

May 18 was also my 40th birthday, and my 19th wedding anniversary. I needed to celebrate. I was obliged to celebrate, really, though I'm sure it must seem rather macabre from an outsider's perspective. We had sushi with friends - A. ate spring rolls and teriyaki...tried one Las Vegas roll, I think. He really doesn't do sushi.

With the timing of Dad's passing - so close to school year ending, A's trip to NY, and our already-scheduled trip to CA - Mom decided it would be better to wait and have a memorial service at the end of June when we can all be there.

So in many ways I've been numb and in limbo for the last, oh, whatever number of days it is now. Dealing with the grief as it comes up in unexpected ways and at unexpected times.

Last night capped it, though. Dad was an income tax preparer for many years. I was wondering about my piano business, my income taxes, and how, if at all, I was paying into Social Security and Medicare, so automatically I picked up the phone.

And realized.

So, right now, I'm just a crazy, mixed-up kid. 40 is the new 20, right?

Are Christians Meant to Feel Guilty All the Time?

Are Christians Meant to Feel Guilty All the Time?

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Thanks to Lisa for mentioning this on FB. This is where my heart and mind have been lately. If I'm in a funk about things, usually it's because I'm dwelling on my sin rather than my gracious Savior. Timely and helpful.

Because I haven't posted in a long time :)

This sums up 3/4 of our family quite nicely, thank you!


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the forgetfulness of God

I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,

and I will not remember your sins.

Isaiah 43:25

And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,'
for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD.
For I will forgive their iniquity, and
I will remember their sin no more."
Jeremiah 31:34

In those days and in that time, declares the LORD,
iniquity shall be sought in Israel, and there shall be none,
and sin in Judah, and none shall be found,
for I will pardon those whom I leave as a remnant.
Jeremiah 50:20

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity
and passing over transgression
for the remnant of his inheritance?
He does not retain his anger forever,
because he delights in steadfast love.
He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins
into the depths of the sea.
Micah 7:18-19

spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.....

To borrow a line from Tom Lehrer, all the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon. (No, I did not go "poisoning pigeons in the park," but I've been humming that song all day.)


Actually had a SATURDAY today, one that counted as such - it didn't involve HAVING to run here, go there, play this, drop off that. I slept in, spent some quality time with my husband, had several cups of coffee, made bacon California roll sushi (yes indeed), weeded and edged half the rose bed (it's large), and basically enjoyed the sunshine underneath layers of 30 SPF goop.

Topping off a charming day, my friends Audra and Yulia came over with their daughters, and we sat in my backyard whilst insanity ruled among the children. We finished the day with a marshmallow roast/s'mores over A's improvised firepit: a turkey roaster purchased from the thrift store, perched on a cement block. Just plop the lid on when you're done and you're golden.

This coming week will be D's school spring break, which does not match any other school's spring break. So he'll be around for a week while most of his friends will still be in school. That' s okay though.....this means I can sleep in instead of dreading the 5:50 am alarm going off, followed by a commute on the nassssty WA167. That alone will be worth it. A. is planning a day trip or two with the kidlets (I still have lessons to teach this week) - so I will get some alone time in the house - a rare boon. I plan to use Monday to do my income taxes. (My weekends have been pretty booked up until now!) Remaining time on Monday will mean a thorough spring cleaning of the kitchen, and then some big cooking - for enjoyment, not necessity. :)

And a run, too. Still chipping away at the interval running. My right knee is occasionally talking to me with some foul language, so I'm silencing it with ibuprofen and ice; glucosamine on the odd chance that it isn't quackery; and just pressing on and exercising anyway, because it's not like it's incapacitating pain anyway. Just noticeable, and only on occasion.

I smell like firepit - a summer smell if there ever was one! - though I plan to fully enjoy this spring as a continuation of this winter. :) Make it so.

miasma

"It's up to the government to resolve this kind of problem, they must take responsibility and tell us what to do." - Gelin Wesnel, native Haitian.

Culture shock.

it never rains in sunny...western washington?

It's a rare event, but it does happen. California is getting hammered with wet weather, while we Pac NW-ers enjoy sun and 50º weather. I even went jogging on Monday to 1) get rid of Christmas indulgences and 2) get my heart back in shape.

Okay, I didn't jog non-stop. More like: walk, walk, walk, walk, jog for about half a block; recover for 5 minutes to get my breath back; jog for half a block; recover for another 5......you get the idea.

I used to run distance, really. Had to for high school sports. Hated it. Hate the floppy feeling of it all. I much prefer step aerobics, floor aerobics, cycling, or the elliptical machine - lower impact than just the pound-pound-pound of jogging. Indoor, too, so not affected by Washington weather.

However, it's sunny out, and I have a vitamin D deficiency*.
(* statement not verified by a professional. Opinion only.)

I also have an mp3 player and I know how to use it. Nothing beats a good set of tunes to keep you motivated to keep slogging along. Come on, make it to the end of the 32...now go for 64, you can do it!

Yesterday was recovery from Monday. So this means today I need to go at it again.

Baby steps.

raindrops keep falling in my coffee

Blattery rainy weather lately. I keep thinking about the character in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish where Rob the lorry driver has kept a personal journal demonstrating that it NEVER stops raining. Never. In the book, of course, the omniscient narrator informs us this is because Rob McKenna is, in fact, a rain god, so the clouds just follow him everywhere to cherish him, be with him, and water him. Rob eventually turns this into a lucrative career, receiving payment for staying away from important outdoor events; or conversely, going where crops need to be watered.



I, however, just get bucketed every morning as I walk from house to car, clutching my mug of coffee for warmth and a gradual, timed dosing of liquid awareness. The last two mornings I've been splashed by coffee as herking raindrops plunk into the cup and displace coffee onto me. Never fear, it was not wasted.



The morning commute under such circumstances is watchful and focused. On rainy days, the 167 freeway from 7:15 - 7:45 a.m. assumes the color of the sky above it -ranging from rain-shiny slate grey to rain-shiny grey blue. The only distinguishing features are the red of the taillights, the glare of the headlights on the water, or the occasional reflector on the road. I can hardly see the lines painted on the road on days like today. A little standing water here and there helps my massage therapist have something to exclaim about when I visit. Toss in a passing semi-truck or two with the resulting washout over my car hood and I'm a mass of shoulder and neck knots.



Please note that I have no massage therapist. With all the muscle tension going on, I'm tired by the end of the commute on rainy days. It's sketchy enough on dry days; exponentially worse when the weather behaves like Western Washington's does.



I am grateful to arrive home, intact, and mostly dry after sitting in a warm car. I have faith the sun will shine again soon.



Once Rob McKenna goes away.

the non-resolution post

Well, well, where'd the time go?! Happy Twenty-Ten!

In reading up on some other blogs I follow, the common theme seems to be "boy, I wish I had something awesome/creative/inspiring to share, but I've been too busy/boring/uninspiring over the Christmas/Advent/Hanukkah/Kwanza season that I haven't posted anything..."

So rather than add my own variation on the same theme above, I will be just as boring/uninspiring as I regularly am and not give a fig. If you're reading this, it's probably because you know me and, despite that, are fond of me in some twisted way.

We enjoyed a restful, relaxing Christmas at home. My parents were unable to travel up from California, and we were unable to travel down to them, so it was a new experience having Christmas on our own. Some empty-nester church friends invited us over for supper that day, so it wasn't too lonely for them or us.

The kids thoroughly enjoyed all the late nights and sleeping in over the holidays- plus the lighter restrictions on TV and Wii hours. :) We had to get some practice in on our new Wii games, after all: Lego Batman, Super Mario, and Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics!

Now that school is back in session, however, D is no longer able to play Wii until his grades improve. :\ By necessity, I have taken to reviewing all his homework for him and sending it back to him to make corrections. This has made for some extremely late nights of homework, and more than a few battles. I think no matter what happens, I end up being a homeschooling mom - to one during the day, to the other after supper. The 6 am rise-and-shine time this past week was brutal--doubly so on Monday after staying up until 1:15 am Sunday night/Monday AM to finish assignments that were due. Why these were not done until the very last minute is bad parenting on my part. I should have pinned him like a bug to a styrofoam board with questions about whether his homework were done or NOT. Sadly, Monday night we had a similar experience - getting math done and then, REdone. The Tuesday morning commute passed in virtual silence, D stretched out in the reclined car seat, scrabbling for 30 extra minutes of sleep as we drove the 167 freeway to school.

I don't remember much of this week except for being very tired. This morning I awoke at 8:30 and still wasn't completely rested. I can't seem to shake off late nights like I used to. No doubt it has something to do with age.

And for the record, this May will bring my 40th birthday. I am debating whether to pull out all the stops and plan a big shindig, or just let it pass and ignore it completely.

What I'm reading right now: The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill, Vol. 1 by Manchester. I had gotten about 3/4 of the way through, but didn't clinch the deal by finishing the book, so I'm starting over. This week I did not make much headway, with the exhaustion factor playing a heavy part. My goal this year is to read one non-fiction book for every fiction book I read. A. guffawed when I mentioned this to him. Clearly, he doubts my resolve and ability to stick to this. He is probably right, but one should set goals when embarking on a new year, fresh with no mistakes in it!

What I'm pondering right now: Stewardship. I have one life, one body, (one Lord, one faith, one baptism...) - and since taking the Dave Ramsey class from September-December have been thinking in terms of credits and debits - not just with finances, but also with my time, my sleeping habits, with my eating and exercising patterns, in my personal relationships....... Stewardship. I don't truly own any part of me --or my so-called possessions. It's all the Lord's. Am I managing these things in a profitable way for my Lord, as a good steward should?

I haven't made any "resolutions" this year - I never do. But I do like a good theme to build my thoughts and plans and life around. Sometimes a theme takes me several years to explore fully. This idea of stewardship should keep me suitably occupied for the rest of my earthly existence. I will be updating my personal mission statement sometime "soon" (my weasel word-of-choice that gives me all the procrastination time necessary) to reflect the idea of Stewardship. If you have thoughts, wisdom, insight, and scripture to share, I will add it to my notebook.

And with that, it's now 9:33 p.m. and I have church bulletins to print. Stewardship in action!

...just sayin'

props to Zintradi for making this his FB profile piccy...... :)

dinner fail

Actual comments from my family during supper tonight:

".... what's in the potatoes?"

"This is a 'floss' meal."

"The gristle's actually not too bad."

"So... when are we having pizza?"

"I'm gonna top this off with a bowl of cereal."


I concede that the meat was undercooked. My ravenous family, unwilling to delay supper any further, pulled the fresh beef brisket from the oven, sliced it and served it before it had cooked to fork-tenderness. In that case, c'est la vie--you get what you get.

Stolen bras recovered, but no bust made :: WRAL.com

Best headline I've read in a while. Don't really care about the story! lolStolen bras recovered, but no bust made :: WRAL.com

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towanda

With the soon advent of The Rain (this event in the Pac NW gets its own capital letters), A. decided today was "strip the garden day."

We betook ourselves to our garden plot, which, once The Rain comes, will become a large field of chocolate pudding, hazardous to muck boots and small children. We lost a child out there once. (We did eventually retrieve her.) So the goal was clear: harvest the harvestable. Strip the bushes of the remaining zucchini and crookneck squash. Uproot the carrots. Harvest every tomato 2" or greater in diameter; they'll ripen off the vine.

We brought three buckets and one box for corn and squash. We ended up borrowing two more buckets and using a laundry basket.

We are blessed, pressed down, shaken together and running over with tomatoes.

I beseech you, send me recipes. I only like fried green tomatoes in small batches. There's only so much relish and jam I can make.

A's job now is to find a way to set these tomatoes up so they do not go to waste while I determine what to do with them!

What would you do?

begorrah

Something I've never noodled out before is the relative merits and deficiencies of bond weights of paper. Apparently 20 lb paper messes up our laser printer; 24 lb does not.

I am supposed to remember this from an apparent tragic occurrence in my distant past: 20 lb paper messes up the printer, and it's a pain to fix. I only remember this dimly. However, I strongly remember that someone in the family likes really really bright white paper.

I NEVER BUY THE PAPER for the printer. Until last night. When I failed to purchase the correct kind. It's mighty bright though.

Here's a linky that tells me about paper and weights. The metric system has us beaten all to smithereens when it comes to understanding this.

Now that I've been enlightened both as to my terrible memory AND how paper bond weight works, I will gather together the shreds of my tattered pride at coming in $1 under my budget, go and exchange the paper for the PROPER weight (24!!!), ENSURE that it also is bright enough, and peace will reign.

Or maybe not, now that I've posted this.
I sure feel better though.

scenes from P-town

My most recent wedding cake. The mother of the groom is a good friend of mine; I was honored to be asked to make this. The bride is German, so when you cut into the cake, it's layered to look like the German flag: from top to bottom, it's chocolate, strawberry, and lemon. Satin Ice fondant covering the cake-- (SOOO much better than Wilton. I will never put that rancid W stuff on any cake ever. again.)--and homemade fondant pearls. Gorgeous! Ahem. If I do say so.






















We have a wee bunny that creeps out at dusk to nibble on the grass. But can I actually OWN a rabbit as a pet? Oh no! It would eat things in A's backyard! I guess the wild ones get a pass for cuteness.














My daughter celebrated her 11th birthday at Tiffany's Skate Inn.
















"Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me....!"

Here's the wee kitten that followed D home from the park. He was adopted by our neighbor and renamed Mr. Darcy. Unfortunately, with such a name, he started to adopt the corresponding antisocial tendencies and an utter disdain for the other plebian cats in the home, so Mr. Darcy had to be removed to another relative's home, to live in proper isolation and splendor.








My garlic turned blue when I made dill pickles. I bought it fresh, but it still turned blue~!




















S won first prize at the Puyallup Fair for her squash that looks like a duck tucking its head under its wing. Notice D in the background? And these are S's new glasses. She likes to look at The Doctor, so why not look LIKE The Doctor, as well?













Below is what my darling husband did while kids and I trekked to California and back: ripped up carpet and put down laminate flooring in the entryway, dining room, and kitchen. SO much nicer to clean; so much better acoustically for the piano.



And that's a wrap.

(No, get it? See? there in the corner?......never mind.)

movin' on up to the east side (well, kent, anyway)

When, in the course of family events, it becomes necessary for a homeschooling family to dissolve the scholastic bonds which have connected them with one another, and to assume, among the other taxpayers of the school district, the separate and equal station to which the laws of compulsory education in Washington State and our Sovereign God (to whom every parent answers) entitle them, a decent respect to my three faithful blog readers requires that I should declare the causes that impelled us, a completely homeschooling family for eight years, to make this decision.

........ahhh, I'm too tired to keep going in Declaration Style.

The previous year of homeschooling/virtual schooling was extremely clarifying for us as a family. The lessons I learned are as follows, in no particular order:
1) The Washington Virtual Academy has blossomed from being a family supportive alternative learning experience to full-blown bureaucracy and top-heavy management; unhelpful, inefficient office staff; and progress-based education rather than mastery-based education (which runs contrary to their parent company, k12).
2) Columbia Virtual Academy is much more relaxed - I set the learning goals, and I can use k12 at the pace I choose to. I am not demoted to being called a "learning coach" as in the other virtual academy. I do all the teaching work - why should I be just a "coach"? It's nitpicky, I know, but it's a subtle undermining of my authority.
3) I spent too much time sorting out sorties, sending the boxers back to their respective corners, and putting myself in time out, rather than actual teaching.
4) Testosterone is a powerful thing.
5) Our church is small. Boys are few. My son has no Christian friends his age. Friendly neighbor kids, but definitely "pre-Christian," if you will.

So back in June, we explored the options for putting D. into school. Seventh grade seemed like a logical time to make a switch, if one were to be made. He is now attending a Christian school in Kent, associated with a church whose pastor is a friend of A's from college.

Get this: D's class? All boys, except for one girl. School uniforms, check. Homework every night, check. Four different teachers to learn to relate to. Papers to try to organize and keep track of. Lessons to learn outside of home. I'm loving it.

I am not loving the (early) morning commute on 167. But that too has its benefits... I can listen to some really good, thought-provoking Bible teaching on the way home in the car.

I am loving having one kid to teach (using k12, enrolled in Columbia Virtual Academy). This way there's only two fallen creatures and their attendant sin problems to deal with, instead of three. :) We're on top, on track, and getting things done.

So we are now half-homeschooling, half-schooling.

I'm exhausted, but it's just fatigue, not stress. I'm excited because of all the possibilities that have just opened up for everyone in my family. I'm grateful for the Lord's provision for D's school tuition; for S's school fund that pays for TYC and violin lessons, and for the general fun time of life that my halflings are now entering into.

But it's after 10 p.m. - I'm about to turn into a pumpkin. Bedtime is 9:30 or 10 because the day starts at 6 am now. I know, I know, welcome back to the real world, right? :)

"put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...!"

So apparently my son was "followed" by a kitten at the park today. It's a wee thing, so I'm sure it didn't follow him very far before it got picked up. Fuzzy and grey. I'm not holding out any hope for the kids, but it's coming on night soon so I guess it can spend one night here. Not like we don't have other animals around. Just not many mammals!

Tomorrow: Pierce County Humane Society.

it's all about her

I just had D come and clean up what he'd left piled around my computer: a bowl of salad plus fork from lunchtime (much salad left); an empty bowl of Moose Tracks ice cream plus spoon (empty), and a small bag of gummy worms (empty).

D said, "Hey! Who ate the rest of my gummy worms?"

I told him the last time I checked, there was one worm left, and I did not eat it.

He stalked to the living room and confronted his sister.

"Did you eat my gummy worm?"

"Yes."

"Did you ASK?"

"No."

"Did you KNOW BETTER?"

"There was only one left! I thought it was meant for me, so I reckoned I could just eat it."


American Princess.

color me pink

And I thought California was hot. :> SO good to be home in the nice, cool Pacific NW...

too much fun

Last week we turned our children loose to summer camp. They went to Camp Wooten, which is near Pomeroy, WA. It's in the middle of NOWHERE. It took me and my friend 7 hours to get the kids there.....and then she and I turned around and came back home, all in the same day.

Tuesday I spent recovering from Monday.

Wednesday A. and I decided to tackle the household dungeon and get it cleaned up from past horrors. Other people might call this a garage, but they haven't visited ours. When A. moved the church office home, it went into the garage, thereby condensing usual garage things into a much smaller space. So Wednesday and Thursday were spent primarily cleaning up mice nests and their leavings, reorganizing boxes and books, Craigslisting what we wanted to get rid of, and Dumping or Goodwilling the rest. (My college English professor would make hay with that last sentence. Nerts to her.) Huge progress! I no longer have a dungeon.

Friday it was time to tackle my darling daughter's room. She is Creative! Artsy! American Girl-themed! Puppies! Dolphins! and just about any other cute exclamatory word you want to submit. I avoid her room, because the creativity is just oppressive at times. Paper. ugh. I have a thing about PAPER. I hate paperwork, I hate scrapbooking, I hate piles of paper, I hate bills and receipts and doing taxes....you get the idea. And this is precisely what S's room is made of. Indeed, the very walls are held up with her drawings and pictures cut out of AG or Cricket magazines... it's just overwhelming to me.

About two hours into the ordeal I realized I needed help with this, because I was gradually getting more and more irate - and that is really not the way you want to welcome home a child who has been away from home all week! ("Hi Mom! Did you miss me?" should not be replied to with "HOLY COW YOUR ROOM WAS A COMPLETE STY I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIVE THIS WAY!") So my dear husband came alongside to provide aid, support, and recycling. By the time the kids got home, we were mostly done, and I was able to appropriately welcome my children.

Turns out, about 5 blocks from home, S succumbed to car sickness, so my first greeting with her involved a quick hug and a run for some paper towels and cleaning solution for my friend's poor car. I chalked it up to overtiredness and a long day in the car. We took them out to Playa Azul for dinner (S only sipping Sprite and nibbling a quesadilla), and all was well. D fell asleep in the big chair about 9 p.m., S not long after.

12:30 a.m.: The Sixth Sense that all mothers have called all my other senses to stand to attention. A CARPET EMERGENCY had occurred! Apparently the quesadilla and sprite didn't want to stay put. I gave A. the less gruesome task of consoling and helping the daughter while I rescued the carpet.

7 a.m. - D is awake and running a 102.5 fever. He's not been ill like S has, but he's at least able to play a little Godzilla. I log onto the Net to find out how to remove lingering odors from the previous carpet emergency (baking soda, and lots of it!). I go back to bed.

9: 45 a.m. - Whoa, did I oversleep! Both kids now have fevers between 101.5 and 102.5 degrees. They must have had too much fun at camp. They've spent the day snoozing in various locations around the house while I tackle Mount Washmore.

Did I mention we three are going to California on Monday? Maybe not so soon. :)