mental blogging

Yanno, ever since I put that button over there <--- for BWO (Blogging Without Obligation) - I've noticed that my posting has become ever more inconsistent. Maybe it should be BWW: Blogging Without Writing. Or Mental Blogging. Blogging Without Actually Doing It.

Whatever it is, I don't feel guilty about it in the slightest, though I am feeling rather disconnected from all of you whom I keep on my blogroll! (Which, BTW, I keep short, because I haven't got time for the guilt of not staying "aware" of you if you're on there and i don't read your carefully-crafted pearls of wisdom!)

I thank you, those of you who prayed for me. The retreat was last Friday/Saturday, following immediately on the heels of a visit from Grandma Karen from Michigan. The challenge was to properly honor and spend time with one we see rarely, as well as properly pray and prepare my soul for being the speaker at a ladies' retreat!

The Lord is good: by staying up to ungodly hours (ooh, irony) and getting up even earlier, I was able to scrape together some hermit time to prepare three different, yet connected, messages.

I have this thing about public speaking: I can't do it, unless the topic is incredibly important and relevant to me. So that's been my prayer--that the Lord would give me exactly what I need to change and grow, so I can pass that along to others who might need to hear the same thing. Otherwise, why should any woman waste her money and time just to hear another talking head?

The theme was Walk Worthy, from Colossians 1:10 - but I immediately felt determined that this was NOT going to be just another list of what good Christian moms ought to DO, to DRESS LIKE, to READ, to STYLE THEIR HAIR LIKE. I come from a background of too much cart preceeding too little horse.

So Friday night message was "The Cross: The WHY of Walking Worthy" --subtitled Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing: I shared the Gospel of Christ. And because I couldn't say it any better than the Lord, after the introductory comments and so forth, I just shared scripture passages telling of the Father's love for us, His mercy, our hopelessness without Him, our living Hope, Jesus Christ. How our lives lived post-salvation are to be structured around not some rule or list as if that were the all-important thing, but that our love for the Lord would control/inspire us. He gave ALL for us. This is why we are to walk worthy of the Lord.

Saturday morning was "Abiding: the HOW of Walking Worthy" --jumping into John 15, where we're told we can do NOTHING apart from abiding in the Vine, Jesus Christ. We spend too much time laboring to produce fruit, when fruit is something that occurs naturally by being in the Vine. Harriet Beecher Stowe had some amazing remarks that I came across (thanks to A.) last summer, which were great to close with. And even better - Ephesians 2:10 - We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God has prepared for us beforehand. God prepared the good works for me. And coolest of all: workmanship is the Greek word poiema: POEM. Though some days I might feel like the "stodgiest of prose" (I'm sure that's a LM Montgomery quote from one of the Emily books)- I'm actually a poem. :)

Saturday afternoon was where I felt I needed some bolstering. I did not want to conclude all this by turning to the list of What To Do To Walk Worthy In Three Easy Steps. So in steps Lisa with a suggestion that I get (and quickly, too) Living The Cross-Centered Life by CJ Mahaney. (ooh, I see that Tim Challies is the #1 reviewer on Amazon. Can the force of commendation any further go? I digress...) So the final message I spoke on "Put Those Plates Down!" Ironically enough, many is the time I've likened my life to a series of spinning plates that I have to keep in the air, or I absolutely suck at (insert whatever failing of mine here.) So I was riveted to the book when Pastor Mahaney specifically mentioned the sideshow act of spinning plates, trying to earn God's love, favor, and approval--WHICH WE ALREADY HAVE. We are never "more saved" or more loved than we are right now. I was so encouraged and blessed by that thought... I knew it, but I hadn't really believed it, because I feel like I'm in a rat race so much of the time. I have to learn anew to stop and realign my thinking to match the Word, when I'm feeling overdrawn, resentful, rebellious, and irritated.

Anyway, that's the basic gist of it. I was encouraged by the Word that I studied, and I was glad to have fellowship with the ladies. One lady even gave me a handmade bracelet with Swarovski (sp?) crystals on it, representing the Fruit of the Spirit, following the John 15 message. That was unexpected, and totally nice of her. It's beautiful too, and I'm not much for wearing jewelry.

The retreat did take its toll on me; Sunday was pretty much spent in a mental and physical fog. By yesterday, however, I was caught up on sleep. (I'm depriving myself now by Actually Blogging, rather than Mentally Blogging, but that's beside the point.)

So it's 11:04 p.m. and I'm going to take my advice to myself and get some rest. :) (That means Facebook too!) Wednesday looms large: I have about 3 hours of solid schooling with the kids before the piano students come all afternoon/early evening.

I'll try to catch up with you all come Thursday!