My grandmother, Anna Mae Laura Flannigan, passed away yesterday afternoon. She would have been 93 this coming June 8.
NOBODY called her Anna Mae Laura! She was "Mickey," an' it please you. They named her thus to please three crotchety old aunts. But to all and sundry, she was Mickey. (Irish, you know).
Reading her recipe collection that Aunt Cathy sent me last month, "G.G." had put a 3x5 card in the front that read "This is the property of Michaela Patricia Flannigan." Then she drew a shamrock and wrote "trademark" next to it. (Michaela... WHO??) So apparently her dislike of her three given names was so great that she invented new ones that suited her fancy better!
G.G. was raised Catholic (naturally) in Waukegan, IL. She met Grandpa "Red" Edwards while he was playing sax in a band. (Once he opened for Tommy Dorsey's band). She says she fell in love with him because he was such a good dancer. Problem: he was Episcopalian! That, in addition to finances being tight, caused them to seek a justice of the peace. As they left his office, newly married, whom did they meet on the steps of the courthouse but her older sister Eleanor! So much for secrets.
They lost their first child, Nancy, to SIDS, though it wasn't called that at the time. It was that event that eventually brought them both to an acknowledgement of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. She and Grandpa Red loved the Lord greatly. Mom told me that G.G. contributed regularly to 22 different missionary and church works, including our own Grace Baptist Church. She led and hosted Community Bible Study for years.
My children had the opportunity to meet GG twice; most recently in 2003. We were down in CA for her 90th birthday celebration. Mom's friend Ray recorded and made a DVD of the event. When D learned of GG's passing, he immediately went to the video cabinet and said, "Well, at least we have
this [to remember her by]."
There will be no memorial service for her. Her friends back in IL have mostly passed on or are in retirement/assisted living homes. Her body is being shipped to the North Shore of Chicago to rest next to her husband's. Apparently the 90th birthday was the last hurrah for the family to reunite and catch up.
This disturbs me. However, this is what Mom and Uncle John have decided. I doubt very much that I will ever see Uncle John and Aunt Cathy again in this lifetime. Grandma was the unifying bond, and now she is gone. Not that there is conflict within the family; no, there's just not a commonness, a reason to get together. Mom was 10 when John was born, and they've just never seemed to be close.
This also disturbs me. There's something to be said for marrying and staying close to family. I have cousins; literal heaps of them on Dad's side--but I don't know them at all. I'm of the renegade California branch, and I'm the sole offshoot.
I can't really castigate my parents' choice--I've done no better, myself; moving to Washington, away from my Californian roots (and Andy from his MI roots) - family is a rare treat; a twice-a-year event. (Grandma Karen is here this week!) But I want my kids to know their cousins, know them well. However, this doesn't seem very likely, distances between WA and MI being what they are--and airfare for four being what IT is! (This is why I need to get a job at Alaska Airlines like Lavonne and go WHEREVER--as "standby", yes, but the ability to GO CHEAPLY!)
Ahh, I'm rambling now.
So to quote from my favorite work in Faure's
Requiem, "Libera Me":
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine:
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
(Which, being translated, is:
Grant eternal rest to them, Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.)